This just in: Kanye West is officially a douchebag.

This week I got to try my hand at coolhunting. “Wow that sounds very important, but what is it exactly?” Good question, but if you’d quit asking questions and just read I’d tell you. Calm your tits.

I went forth to the farthest reaches of campus and asked YOU, the hip and cool college student what you think is worthy of your seal of approval. I handed out sheets of paper with various logos and icons and asked you to circle the ones that you deem “cool.” But I was thirsty for more. I wanted to know why. Why do you give certain brands and companies the seal of approval while other ones get tossed aside? After hours of sifting through my extensive research I have reached the following conclusions. Pay close attention, this shit is cool apparently.

  • Everyone polled agrees that Kanye West is in fact a douchbag… because we didn’t already know that before?
  • People really like Best buy, iTunes, Netflix and Verizon
  • People sort of like Levi, Lady Gaga, Yahoo, Playstation and USA channel
  • Not a whole lot of people like Budweiser, McDonalds,Sprite, Nike or Walmart. Quite honestly I’m surprised anyone liked walmart.
  • Kanye recieved no cool points… neither did South Pole brand.
But Let’s break down all this cool stuff even further. I want to know everything there is to know about cool. I want to be cool… I have to be cool. When I’m cool everyone will like me and I’ll finally have friends.
Okay so the top two coolest items were tied with 9 points each and those were iTunes and Verizon. Close behind with 8 and 7 points were Yahoo, Best Buy, Target, PlayStation, Netflix, and Channel USA. ATTENTION EVERYONE! THIS STUFF HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN DEEMED AWESOME BY COLLEGE STUDENTS. NOW GO BUY ALL OF IT AND YOU’LL MAKE FRIENDS. Still need more convincing that this stuff really is the shit, and that you should consider buying or using it. Well, this is what everyone said about these products:
  • They use them all the time.
  • They work well
  • Everyone else uses them
  • they have funny advertising
  • It’s original
  • Kanye West is not endorsing it
  • They don’t advertise all the goddamn time
  • I think Lady Gaga should be the mother of my unborn children (actual quote)
  • They are familiar
 But lets say you don’t really give a shit what is popular right now, you want to be one step ahead of the game. Well I’m about to tell you what is going to take popular culture by storm so that you can spend your hard earned dollars on things that may or may not end up making headlines. If you want to be cool, you’ll pay attention to what I’m about to tell you.
Stuff that’s probably going to cool in the near future:
1. Instead of offering live streaming and mailing DVD’s to your home I think that Netflix will start renting movies via the internet, similar to what iTunes does. You would be able rent movies that would stream to your computer or other device for an allotted amount of time and the movie would automatically be removed after the time is up. This would enable Netflix to eliminate through the mail DVD’s completely yet still enabling viewers to watch a larger variety of movies. They’ll continue to make money off of instant watch AND renting movies out. I should have been a business major. Freaking ingenious right?! Basically I think Netflix is too popular to be replaced by something else, I think that they are just going to get more creative with their services. So be on the lookout for awesome Netflix happenings.
2. Zune will start becoming more popular, while I don’t believe it will become more popular than iPods, they’re making strides and becoming more popular among young people. Especially now that people are trying to be more frugal, Zune products will start to become more popular. They essentially work the same as iPods, but cost much less. So whenever your iPod finally bites the dust, maybe you should consider buying a Zune instead. Zunes are cost effective, aesthetically pleasing, easy to operate and well designed, the only thing you’ll have to get used to is the fact that it won’t have a precious Apple logo on it. Heaven forbid. Of course if you start buying Zunes I’m sure Apple will have to get their act together and try to come up with better music storage devices to win back your loyalty. The worst that can probably happen is that we will have access to better technology. I like having options.
Here’s a picture of some cats. It says the word Verizon on the picture so it’s relevant.
3. Another potential thing I see becoming popular in the near future in regards to cellphones isn’t really anything extraordinary or unique. I expect cellphones to become faster, more reliable and sleeker. Unless verizon seriously starts sucking in the next couple of years, I don’t expect them to go under. They are popular for a number of reasons; they have great cell service and all of the latest phones. People want what works the best for the lowest price and they also want to be up to date, Verizon offers that. The days of simple flip phones and dropping calls are behind us. Verizon is constantly keeping us on our toes with up to date software and services and that’s why they’re not going anywhere anytime soon.
If you want to keep up with the latest trends it takes a little more than reading magazines and browsing the interwebz, you need to understand HOW media advertises to the public to remain one step ahead of the game. Brands become cool when a company is able to effectively advertise as to not annoy the public with their new product but also make it seem like the coolest shit you will ever buy. It’s a fine line between “Everyone and their grandma has one” and “holy crap I need that in my life right now.” You are more likely to buy something when the advertising is funny, or simple to understand. The last thing you want is a depressing Apple commercial that confuses the hell out of you. Also when you see the product being used by attractive, young hip and happenin’ people it gives you the idea that you too can be awesome if you buy their product. So when you see something you just HAVE TO HAVE, you’ll know it’s all because of creative advertising. Those sneaky bitches… getting us to buy all of their awesome products. Whatever, I don’t care if I got sucked into buying an iPod, it works and I like music. Everyone wins… mostly Apple because now they have my money.

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